Digger Man
Digger Man is an episode of The Adventures of Conch Street, written by . Synopsis Squidward decides to dig under his house to get valuable objects, so he can buy the most expensive clarinet in the world. However, he finds out that there is some lost cavemen who have been underneath Squidward's house for ages. Plot Squidward is on top of his house, when he hears SpongeBob saying "I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD!" Squidward gets annoyed by this, so he decides to go downstairs. He finds a incredibly old magazine from 1456, talking about how there are hidden treasures underneath his very house. Squidward gets so shocked by this that he farts! Squidward swiftly digs 50ft, only to find more dirt. Squidward digs further and further, until he finds the trenches SpongeBob and Patrick dug in another time. Suddenly, cracks start forming on a wall, and it breaks. Out comes a really, really hairy man. Thankfully he has pants on, but his shirt is so broken he looks like he isn't wearing a shirt at all! Squidward says hello, but the hairy guy says "SOdma cicd sna djfsnd jdkdjajd !!!!" He then attacks Squidward, but Squidward uses his belly to hit the guy a few meters away. Squidward then goes up the tunnel he dug so fast it looks like he's flying. Squidward then calls Animal Control, the police, the firefighters, among others, even though he is just dealing with some caveman. All of them come, but they all smash into each other. They then start attacking each other. Squidward tries to stop everyone from fighting, but it's no use. However, the caveman comes up from the trench and uses a wand to make everyone mature. Squidward thanks the caveman, but then all the people Squidward called jumped onto the caveman and started hugging him like he was the saver of Earth. They took him to practically everywhere, making Squidward mad, because he found the caveman. But then he realizes he could use the caveman for his own use, so he attempts to kidnap the caveman. The caveman was forced to sleep in a bed, when he was so used to sleeping on dirt. Squidward tried to get in, but then a bunch of police cars went over the roof of the building and attempted to ram Squidward. Squidward ran through the gate of the building the caveman was in and checked every door. One door led Squidward to SPACE, where he went floating until a similar looking caveman hit Squidward and sent him back to the building in the room the caveman was sleeping in. Squidward took out a huge bag from his bag, which was in a bag, and used it to scoop the caveman and put it inside. He tried to run out of the building, but the police caught him. However, the caveman jumped out of the bag right before Squidward went in the car, and said "ufios! ifsmA DIS Squidwadnsrin nen ak djkaj iernfmsn akdk jdo!" A translator said the caveman said "Stop! This MAN Squidward is a guy I would never hurt!" The police decided that they would shoot the caveman, but then some aliens came down and abducted the police. The aliens went to Conch Street and dropped them there. They then landed their UFO and came out of it. They told the police that instead of killing the caveman, they should treat him like every other human, and they also told Squidward to not abuse the caveman. They both agreed upon that. Squidward decided he should end his day normally, so he went to a wig shop to look at wigs. SpongeBob and Patrick come to Squidward and tell him that they stink, hug Squidward, and run off. Squidward yells "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!?" but SpongeBob and Patrick had already left. Trivia *This episode takes place during the events of "Something Smells."